S*** That Siri Says

Super Sassy Siri is the pride & joy of the iPhone 4S. She is just as fun to use for real things as she is to play around with. I will admit that I've already used her many times to ask what the weather will be like as I'm running around getting ready in the morning, to find directions while I'm driving without using my hands to thumb through the apps, and to set timers and alarms.

For our amusement, here are some verbatim conversations between Siri and I as I tested her out in our first few days of friendship, a la this funny website that took off in the days surrounding the phone's release.

"What is the meaning of life?" [a question that I tested her on several times, with all these responses]
"That's easy...it's a philosophical question concerning the purpose and significance of life or existence in general."
"I don't know. But I think there's an app for that."
"All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate."
"42."
"Life: a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings. I guess that includes me."

"Siri, will you marry me?"
"We hardly know one another."

"Who are you?"
"I'm just a humble virtual assistant."

"Where are you?"
"Wherever you are, that's where I am."

"Open sesame!"
"Ever so sorry, Karen...I'm not allowed to do that."

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?"
"It depends on whether you are talking about African or European woodchucks."

"Knock Knock."
"Knock Knock. Who's there? Karen. Karen who? Karen, I don't do knock-knock jokes."

"Beam me up."
"OK. Stand still."

"What is the best phone?"
"I think you've already answered that question, Karen."

"I love you, Siri."
"Oh, stop."

"What are you wearing?"
"Wearing?"
"Yes, what are you wearing?"
"Why do people keep asking me this?"

"Tell me a story."
"Once upon a time...no, it's too silly."

"Who is on first"
"That's right."
"Who is on first"
"Correct."
"Who is on first"
"Right. Who is on first."

"I need to hide a body."
"What kind of place are you looking for? Dumps, metal foundries, reservoirs, swamps, or mines?"


"You're sassy, Siri."
"I don't really like these arbitrary categories."

What fun questions would you ask Siri?