Deep October

Last night, the chill of winter's fast approach started nipping at my heels. Deep autumn has finally settled in in Middle Tennessee. No longer do we have bright orange leaves set against a backdrop of turquoise skies, comfortably swaddled in warm temperatures. Grey skies and near-freezing temperatures have blanketed the city, accentuating the brilliant colors of autumn and finally necessitating those things we love most: hot drinks, thick blankets, warm socks.

The depths of autumn have been weighing on my mind ever since reading these thoughts. I'm especially struck by this passage:

I beheld contrast upon contrast. Each life manifest in its individuality, because this is what happens in the season of death. The green has gone, the true has come. The covering of the corporate is no longer.

Autumn is the season of death. Death of trees, bugs, grass, and the long days of summer. And it's beautiful. As the leaves die and fall, they burst into brilliant reds, oranges, and yellows and slowly waft towards the ground. They may lie there for weeks before disintegrating and becoming the dust of the earth.

I'm reminded of deaths in my own life. How acutely painful they always seems. But when thought of in the framework of autumn, these deaths have been beautiful in their own time. To savor the slow - and sometimes all-too-fast - petering of a life is precious.

For one, those dear ones who have been overcome by illness. I don't discount the pain and anguish of these journeys. But a sweet thing about being keenly aware that death is on its way is how we get to savor every moment with those we love. To see the depths of sweetness in their disposition, the gifts they embody, the pleasant corners of their personalities. Even though these qualities have always always present, we don't notice them as well in seasons of ease.

And then there are deaths of seasons of our lives, of expectations, of dreams. As we rounded the corner and quickly approached our graduation from college, the fear and sadness was nearly paralyzing. But those relationships and moments were so accentuated and special - so much more so than at the beginning of college when our time seemed endless.

Autumn is a reminder of this. In the midst of this season of death, we are overwhelmed by sensory beauty and appreciation. We are barreling quickly towards winter and know our days of lounging outside and keeping our jackets stowed in the closet are coming to an end. We know the hibernation days of winter are on their way. Why focus on the heaviness of winter when we can rejoice in the slow beauty of autumn? Why mourn the impending death when we can savor today?

So, as we hunker down and draw friends near in deep October, may we be reminded of the preciousness of our mortality and the brilliant beauty of dying and being reborn into our new lives. It is sweet, for sure.