Because He So Loves Us

Today, I almost fell out of my chair upon reading some scripture with which I thought I was so familiar. Y'all, the Gospel is so alive and continues to speak new truth into our lives every day. Whoa.

It's the story of Lazarus in John 11 - you know, the one where Jesus brings Lazarus back from the dead? One of the most comforting verses over the last few years has been verse 35: "Jesus wept." The greatness of Jesus' love for Lazarus and the depth of His emotion is moving. So often we make Jesus untouchable; He seems to perfect to be true or relatable. But He is real and felt the gamut of human emotion - even the painful stuff.

Verse 35 is great, but have you read earlier in that chapter? After Martha told Jesus that Lazarus was sick, the scripture says: "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days."

He knew there was pain. He knew Lazarus was dying. He knew this hurt Mary & Martha's hearts. He waited two days to do anything about it.

My morning devotional comments on this by saying:

It is as if God were teaching us that at the very heart and foundation of all His dealings with us, no matter how dark and mysterious they may be, we must dare to believe in and affirm His infinite, unmerited, and unchanging love.

I feel jarred by this. If Jesus so loved Lazarus, why didn't he run to save him as soon as he heard about his impending death? My human instinct tells me to dash immediately to those I love when they are sick or in pain. I wouldn't hesitate for a second! Why does Jesus?

It goes on to say:

Anything less than infinite love would have rushed instantly to the relief of those beloved and troubled hearts...Only the power of divine love could have held back the spontaneity of the Savior's tenderheartedness until the angel of pain had finished his work.

How human is my love. My mortal soul still cringes at the truth that the Lord allows pain to work in our lives; that choosing to love Jesus inevitably means pain and challenges and obstacles. I want the One who loves us most to prevent pain. Doesn't that seem much more reasonable? How can I comprehend His infinite love when it's so different from mine?

One of my favorite Andrew Peterson lyrics is, "it's the fear that His love is no better than mine." How often I think that Jesus' love is the same as mine - and how wrong I am.

I'm comforted to read that Jesus patiently waited for the right time to heal Lazarus - the one He so loved - even if it's two uncomfortable days longer than I would have asked for.

I don't understand it - this great love that He has that allows for great pain - but faith doesn't mean understanding everything. Today, it means trusting Jesus' sovereignty and resting in His infinite love, knowing that it is greater than anything we can comprehend. His love for me is the foundation of how He deals with me, after all. There can't be anything better.