TIC...Thursday

Instead of TIA Tuesday this week, I bring to you TIC (This Is Camp) Thursday, which was also posted on the youth group blog. Enjoy!

Camp is a magical place and there are many things that happen at camp thatonly happen at camp. Today, enjoy a few "This Is Camp" - abbreviated "TIC" - moments from this week. Don't worry, parents: though there are many TICs, we have not seen any ticks so far.

- Yelling "shoutbacks" during every session, meal, and activity. For example, when anyone talks about "announcements," you yell out, "tell me something good!" Beware: when your campers return, you should not say the words "soccer," "chapel," or "OK." TIC.

- Waking up with achy muscles and bruises from blobbing too high. TIC.

- Nyk and Cali getting called out for being too close when they were mistaken for campers. TIC.

- Eating and screaming about Chicken on a Stick and Grilled Pizza. TIC.

- Escaping during free time to get delicious, homemade milkshakes in town. TIC.

- Re-wearing wet bathing suits in the lake everyday because there are limited places to hang them in our camp bathrooms. TIC.

- Introducing Grace hymns in three-part harmony to the camp at Stage Night. TIC.

- Being phone and media free for a week...and feeling great about it! TIC.

- Learning about community by adopting various injuries and impairments in a plane crash scenarios. And subsequently pushing, pulling, and dragging each other around the chapel to save the group. TIC.

- Sleeping so deeply on squeaky beds at night because you're so exhausted from the full and fun schedule each day. TIC.

Ain't No Fire Like a Crystalaire Fire...

...'cause a Crystalaire fire don't stop what what!

Sadly, no. I am not back at the Greatest Camp on Earth. But I'm some place even better - at camp for a week with the Grace Community Church youth group in Kentucky! What a random (okay, planned from before Day 1) movement of the Lord in my life that I had the last-minute opportunity to reunite with my sweet high schoolers for a week of growth, challenges, and good times.

We're blogging while we're gone, so check out what we're doing each day at this blog!

Where In the World?

Back in March, I fell in love. With Google Analytics, that is. I know next to nothing about blogging or statistics, let alone analytics. But I do love the interactive maps and list of search terms that lead people to my blog (best one: "I have to drive, so maybe hot chocolate." A Googler after my own heart...)

This week, we added a lot of new countries to the list, including readers in Belarus, Turkey, Croatia, Somalia, Panama, and Singapore. What??

So this week, I want to know who you are! Blogging is a lonely world when no one comments, so leave a comment and let me know where in the world you are...whether you're as near as Glenview or as far as Mongolia.

Love and Grief

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my friend, Emmett, who was coming to the end of his long battle with esophageal cancer. On June 9, 2011, he was called home by our sweet Lord. As his wife, Wendy, wrote that day, "the hardest part of Emmett's journey was over while my hardest part was just beginning."

In those few days while he was in hospice, a friend from my community group wrote a note on grief and brought up the idea of grief as an expression of love. I paused. Huh. That made sense, but was certainly a new lens through which to look at grief.

As part of the close community at Grace Community Church, I have had the privilege to cry with friends, process death, and observe others grieving. I count it as divine intervention that I was in the States at this time and was lucky to have the time to travel to Nashville last weekend for the memorial service. Certainly, it is sad to see any friend depart their earthly life, but I didn't expect to hit such a wall of grief as I entered church on that sunny Saturday afternoon.

Emmett Stallings was so loved. As I watched his friends worship through heavy tears, it was evident how deeply they loved their friend. In that moment, they were not crying out of anger or misunderstanding or despair. They simply, deeply missed their beloved friend.

In C.S. Lewis' "A Grief Observed," (a compelling journal of his grief after his wife died that I would recommend to anyone in the wake of personal loss), he writes about how "bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love...It is not a truncation of the process but one of its phases...If it hurts (and it certainly will) we accept the pains as a necessary part of this phase."

That's hard for me to swallow. There are so many people I love so deeply. To know that I will undoubtedly lose some of them in this short life is humbling. At the very least friendships will drift, people will move away, breakups will happen...there are so many ways for us to grief the loss of love. I suppose this is why so many people distance themselves from it and only know and are known on the surface. I'm tempted to try that. I'm tempted to distance myself from love so the pain isn't as all-encompassing when it comes.

Why does grief seem so much more present in these years? Is it because I'm older and notice it more? Is it happening more often? Have I lived enough years that my heart is big enough to feel that kind of pain? A parent with cancer, a classmate from my hometown, a neighbor's husband, a friend...sudden car wrecks, suicides, long illnesses...

But for as much as love may be seen as a risk, it's painful to imagine a life with no love at all:
No overjoyous reunions with friends after a long absence.
No belly laughter.
No meaningful bear hugs.

In fact, our sweet Lord loved this world so much that He gave His only Son; His only Son whom He loved. How great the pain of searing loss. We are not alone in grieving those we love, and we are allowed to grieve so deeply because we were created to love so deeply.

"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another...there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." (1 John 4:11, 18). When our love for God, the perfection of love, surpasses our love for any person or thing of this world, we cannot find fear in that love, even though we know the depth of our grief will be great. We accept death as part of life's process and recognize that our deep grief is simply an assurance of our great love.

I choose love, no matter how deep the grief often runs.

"My prayer for all of us is that we will learn to meet suffering with mercy, despair with hope, and fear with truth. I pray that we would dwell in the mysteries and paradoxes of suffering with a realness that despises trite answers, embraces sorrow, and plants hope. In other words, may we be people who trust and love, even when it is difficult." - Wendy Stallings (read more about the Stallings' journey)

TIA Tuesday

TIA Tuesday is dedicated to one cross-cultural situation that has only become more hilarious each time it happens.

Pregnancy.

As I've mentioned before, eating a constant diet of cheap carbs for six months was not so great for my figure. My wrists may still be skinny mini, but the rest has become a little plumper. Apparently that's the norm for female expats in Africa, as I was told by a PCV. "All the guys lose weight, but you women only gain it. You're definitely going to gain weight." Nice to meet you, too, buddy.

While staying in Windhoek a few weeks ago, I had developed a friendly rapport with the staff at the hostel. However, as I was waiting in the lobby on my last day for my late cab to arrive and take me to the airport, I was startled when the receptionist looked at me with an excited expression and said, "are you expecting??" Being the confused white girl that I am (who after six months still had trouble deciphering Namlish), I thought she was inquiring about the cab. But no. As soon as she patted her own stomach and smiled at me, I understood. "Uh, hah, no, no no no. I am not. I've just, uh, really enjoyed the food here?"

I mean, most people who visit this beloved continent would say that the biggest TIA moment is Africans finding women beautiful for being fat, right? But maybe, just maybe this crosses cultures.

On my first weekend back in America, I eagerly ventured to a nearby farmer's market with my dad to indulge in fresh American foods. We stopped by a bakery table to buy some fresh bread and chose a fresh baguette. As I paid the vendor and started to advance on the cheese seller, he gave me a once-over and called after, "congratulations!!!" 

Maybe he was just as excited about the bread as I was. But my dad just about fell on the ground laughing when we realized he was congratulating my pregnancy.

So this week's TIA Tuesday: people mistaking your AfricaFat as pregnancy. TIA(frica) and TIA(merica).

Why I Love M&Ms

Let me preface this by admitting that I am a recovering addict. There may or may not have been a time in my life when I became addicted to chocolate and had serious affects from withdrawal. Okay, scratch the "may not." Embarrassing? Maybe.

But despite my lowered chocolate consumption, I will always love M&Ms. They are Marvelous&Magnificent. Mini&Multicolored. Mesmerizing&Moving. Mysterious&Magical.

They're even better when they're Multitudinous&Melty.

This weekend, I left a big bag of M&Ms in my car in the hot Nashville heat, which is how they became melty. Never fear - this created for the best kind of M&M on my roadtrip home. And what better to do on a roadtrip and ponder why you love them so? Let me count the ways.

1.  Even after the heat, the candy shell stays solid. Only the inside melts, so when you bite into one, the chocolate explodes in your mouth. Delightful. Don't worry about the slimy condensation on the outside.
2.  They don't try to be healthy. They don't pretend to be fruity (ahem, Skittles). They don't try to lower their sugar or fat content. They're proud of who they are.
3.  They provide a safe arena for obsessive organizers to exercise their craft. You can organize them by color. You can eat all of one color first or try to make an even number of each color. You can organize them in lines or circles or pie charts or...
4.  You can create mosaic artwork with them.
5.  You can eat them super fast in big honking handfuls or savor them by letting one melt at a time in your mouth
6.  You can print a personalized message or your FACE on them - what?! I'm thinking wedding reception favors...
7.  There are a bajillion different colors (see M&M store in NYC). And varieties. I just had peanut M&Ms for the first time a few weeks ago.
8.  The Easter mix has Easter-themed pictures on them and tastes way better than any other seasonal mix.
9.  They're available anywhere. But don't eat the ones sold in the Tanzanian airport.

But most of all?

10. You can share them with all your friends.

TIA Tuesday - 100th Post!

Happy 100, readers! Thanks for being so faithful.

(Remember: TIA is now This Is America, unless otherwise specified)

I didn't update my MacBook Pro for six months. NBD, right? BD. Apparently McGee Home internet sucks more than Nam's at times. Start...stop...start...stop. Estimated finish time: 306 hours. That's the last time I ever go six months with no updates. TIA.

Woke up with buyer's remorse over my Target purchases yesterday. Those could have fed me for an entire month in Nam. TIA.

Feel like my body is going to fall apart from P90X. TIA.

Eating fresh vegetables every single day. TIA.

Air conditioning. TIA.

Everything is soooooo green in Glenview. TI(spring in)A.

Back in the Promised Land

Target. The American Promised Land. A veritable gold mine of cute summer dresses, tasty foods, patio furniture, and home goods. Home of outlet Pizza Hut stands. Heaven on earth. It would not be an exaggeration to say that every single time I go to Target, I buy more than I planned on and have trouble keeping it under the triple digits. Most of everything I own comes from this divine store.

But despite its fabulousness, it can be quite an overwhelming experience when you've been on a months-long hiatus, as I was warned by fellow expats. I patiently waited for almost a week in America before returning to the Mecca of American stores. Guess what? It was even more amazing than I remembered it.

However, there are many, many reasons I should stay away from Target until cultural re-adjustment is complete.

1. The first thing you're drawn to are the clothes. Static electricity? Or just seeing clean clothes for the first time? Watch out, once you pick up one, you won't be able to stop.
2. Having not seen yourself in front of a mirror for months, you may be unpleasantly surprised to see your Africa bod when you strip down in the dressing room..."Can I get the next size up, please?"
3. The freedom of wearing skinny-strapped, above-the-knee dresses makes you giddy - how scandalous!
4. Though you've hand-washed for months, your mother's instincts kick in before check-out when you remember to check the washing instructions on all the clothes you've grabbed. "Machine wash? I can machine wash??"
5. Swimsuit season? Heaven's to Betsy. Better go for those tankinis and one-pieces...no bikinis for you this year.
6. You wander over to the food section because (honesty box) you've been too afraid to go to a real American grocery store yet. Do you actually need any of this food? No.
7. The walls and walls of food blind you and after running headlong into several customers' carts, you snap out of your daze and realize you've been stumbling down aisles with your mouth agape.
8. Uh oh...you've turned down the snack aisle. Real, processed American snacks! Oh heavenly day. But an entire wall of Ho-Ho's? You only need one box. You weren't expecting so much selection. Just grab a box and run. Run!
9. You happen to check the price tags on a few of your items and realize that cute clearance dress cost you more than your Namibian cellphone. Either this dress is too expensive or this exchange rate sucks. Oh wait, that was a terrible NamPhone. No comparison.
10. After giving the cashier a full greeting (wait...I'm not required to do that here), you realize you've filled your cart with twelve items (eleven more than you could ever need). It's time for a personal intervention. Just because you're an ex-expat doesn't mean you're allowed to give in to retail therapy. You need REAL therapy.

And that is why I will stay away from Target until I REALLY need something...or feel compelled to rescue all those cute dresses I left behind.

Something About...

- There's something about a hot shower that relaxes all your muscles.
- There's something about rubbing your toes into plush carpet that tickles your feet.
- There's something about making two double-stuffed oreos into a quadruple-stuffed oreo that's delicious.
- There's something about throwing cheeseballs at each other that's hilarious.
- There's something about the perfect combination of heat and humidity in a Chicago spring that wraps you in its arms.
- There's something about clothes done in a washer and drier that make them so much fluffier and good smelling.
- There's something about well-manicured suburbia that feels like home.
- There's something about Thursday night comedies with the fam that makes them even funnier.
- There's something about ice cream that's too perfect for words.
- There's something about karaoke with all your relatives that sometimes beats out Lonnie's.
- There's something about the sound of airplanes, birds tweeting, passing cars, and children laughing that tells me summer's on its way.
- There's something about my sister cooking dinner for us now that still surprises me.

There's something about being home that let's me know it's where I'm meant to be.

Prayers for Emmett

I know this blog is generally pretty self-focused, so for those of you who only want to read about me, this post will disappoint you. Alas, there are lots more important things in this world than my adventures readjusting to America.

Such as the health of a dear community member in Nashville, Emmett Stallings. He and his family attend Grace Community Church with me and I had the blessing of getting to know their sweet son when I taught Sunday School there. Emmett has been battling Stage IV esophageal cancer since February 2010. Today has come to be known as a very sad day on their blog. Medically, things aren't looking good. I've been there, having a dear family member and friend come to what looked like the end of their ropes. It's terrifying, numbing, and altogether overwhelming to be out of options and entirely in God's hands (though really, isn't that supposed to be the most relieving place to be?).

So reader, please pray for Emmett, Wendy, and Quinn right now. Pray for peace and joy in the coming days - whether it's a few or a few thousand.

"Our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you shared in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." (2 Cor. 1:7)

Une Histoire de Deux Amies

I have known sweet Michelle Wijaya since the beginning of my freshman year at Vanderbilt - a whole five years! She's currently serving on a STINT team with Campus Crusade for Christ in Dakar, Senegal. So...I was incredibly excited when I found out I could stop in Senegal for a few days on my way back to America.

We've been this enthusiastic about each other for a long time.

As one of the kindest, smiliest, Godliest women I know, I was thrilled to spend a few days with her despite my exhaustion and brokenness from the last six months. What I didn't expect was the incredibly fulfilling four F's that were prominent throughout the four days.

Friends
My flight (unfortunately) arrived at 4:10am in Dakar...woof. Michelle and teammate Ted kindly picked me up at the airport and helped me fight off feisty taxi drivers (I think we can generalize that they're terrible throughout the continent). Clearly, we returned home for naps right away. At 7am, I was pleasantly awoken by one of her roommates and teammates, Ashley. We became fast friends when she immediately jumped up and taught me The Wobble. According to the Summer Project team, it's all the rage in the US these days, though all of us have been gone for so long that we're not so sure...but it sure is a good workout and a lot of laughs.

But friends. I've secretly been craving Christian community for these past six months in that I didn't realize how much I longed for it until it was back. This STINT team is an incredible group of three women and three men who are doing ministry at the university in Dakar. They live in the same building and are like a fun little family. Most importantly, they immediately embraced me into their lives for the four short days I was there. It's still hard to find words to describe just how meaningful this has been. And besides: we decided we could all be real friends on the last night. Hurrah!

The STINT team in Dakar

Not only that, but I got to meet many of the girls' Senegalese friends and Congolese colleagues. It was a blessing to finally meet these incredibly bright young women that I've heard so much about and see the ministry they are doing in Dakar.

Food
Oh. My. Goodness. The team tells me this is not typical, but we ate incredibly the whole time I was there. Did you know there are a million and one boulangeries in Dakar?! I was in heaven. Pastries, fresh bread (even BETTER than Nam), chocolate creations. And real ice cream! We also made many delicious family dinners with REAL fresh vegetables and delicious ingredients.

From not-so-typical Senegalese food...like chocolate fondant

...to real Senegalese treats, like these frozen juices in bags!

The highlight of our food experience was our last day. Michelle and I planned an entire day's worth of eateries - cafes, boulangeries, ice cream stores, coffeeshops. The first place we went was amazing. I'm convinced that menus always sound more delicious when written in French. Or even Italian. Anything but English. I decided to order a panini de trois fromages. Sounded like a glorified grilled cheese, but I had no idea just how glorified it would be. We're talking brie, roquefort, and some other really rich, unidentified cheese. I looooove lovelovelove cheese...it might be my #1 craving while in Africa. So I snarfed this down. Apparently, Michelle thought I was crazy for eating it all but didn't say anything. Needless to say, this put a huge dent in our day. We skipped our post-lunch ice cream store #1, but do not fear, I ate an entire pot of ice cream at the next place. I couldn't move for the rest of the day from all the rich food. Oh wait, until fried Senegalese food was put in front of me. Worth it? Totally.

Several Senegalese fried foods - including BEIGNETS, my fav

French
Most people in Dakar speak French or Wolof (but not many speak English), so I had a chance to brush off my rusty old French skills. Thankfully, it's not like riding a bike. One time I stopped riding bikes for several years and when I got back up, I fell off. But the French went just fine. It was fun to have it come back so quickly - and encouraging! Also, french food. 'Nuff said.

Fun
Boy, did we have fun in Senegal. From walks to the beach to giggling to cooking together. But the most fun of all was our night out to Magicland. Magicland is exactly what you would expect of an amusement park in an African city. It has a healthy dose each of thrill, lack of safety, and sketchiness.

The infamous Magicland

There were bull rides, a rickety ferris wheel with a stunning view of Dakar and the ocean, kiddie rides, and dressed up characters. The highlight of our time in Magicland was the unregulated bumper cars. They had no safety limit and flimsy bumpers, which made for a lot of big crashes, bruises, and laughs. In fact, I just looked down at my knees and found two new bruises. Hm. We rode them twice and are still feeling the effects several days later. Michelle is NOT a good bumper car driver, but thankfully I ditched her for Ted the second time.

Aside from that, Michelle and I did a lot of exploring (she said it wasn't typical, but it was just like our old days in Nash)...new parks, an evangelical women's concert, and did I mention food? All in all, what a blessing it was to have the opportunity to stop by Dakar on the way home. I couldn't have asked for a more surprisingly amazing time with old friends and new. Check one more African region off my list!